


Strange Visitors

by zathara001



Category: NCIS, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zathara001/pseuds/zathara001
Summary: While recovering from his bout with the plague, Tony DiNozzo receives some strange visitors.





	Strange Visitors

**Author's Note:**

> So… this is what happens when I get bored at work. I have no idea if I'll ever come back to it, but for now, I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into a might-have-been.
> 
> Continuity: Takes place after Star Trek (2009 reboot) and between NCIS season 2, episode 22, SWAK and season 2, episode 23, Twilight.

The knock on Tony DiNozzo's apartment door didn't surprise him. In the wake of his throwdown with _Y. pestis_ , he'd had more visits than he could count - Kate, unsurprisingly, came by every evening. Tim had come by once. Ducky and Jimmy alternated days according to some schedule Tony was certain they'd worked out. Abby came once, and Tony was pretty sure Gibbs had only come because she'd dragged him.

 

The visits were almost more of a pest than the _pestis_ , and this was only a week after his release. Tony didn't want to think about how many more visits he might have before he got back to work.

 

For a moment he debated not answering the door. Just as he'd decided the visit would be less effort than dealing with whoever was on the other side of the door if he didn't answer, the knock sounded again.

 

That decided him - none of his visitors, except maybe Jimmy, were the kind to give up and go away if he didn't answer. With a groan, Tony heaved himself off his sofa, leaving the movie he'd been watching, _Back to the Future_ , running in the background.

 

It said a lot about his frame of mind that he violated one of his own private rules by opening the door without checking to see who stood on the other side.

 

He wasn't prepared for the two men facing him, strangers, one dark haired and dark eyed with oddly slanted eyebrows, the other a dark blonde with blue eyes and a ready grin. Both of them were bundled up a little more than Tony would have expected for late spring in D.C.

 

Normally, Tony would take two against one odds, but he wasn't anywhere near his best right now, so he summoned a smile and wished he had his service weapon handy.

 

"Hi," he said. "New to the building?"

 

"Not exactly," Blue Eyes said. "Anthony DiNozzo?"

 

He gave it the Italian pronunciation, and Tony thought he'd be fully justified in saying, nope, nobody here by that name, but something about these two men tickled his awareness, and, well, he'd never been overly-cautious.

 

"DiNozzo." He gave the correct pronunciation. "Why?"

 

Blue Eyes glanced around. "This is a conversation best had in private. May we -- hey, is that _Back to the Future_?"

 

And then he was pushing past Tony in the politest possible way, his expression eager, and somehow Tony didn't read his actions as a threat.

 

"My apologies." The other man had an odd accent to go with his odd eyebrows. "The captain is sometimes more enthusiastic than polite."

 

"It's _Back to the Future_ ," Tony said. "Enthusiasm's almost required."

 

Then he stepped back to let Eyebrows in and closed the door. He stayed close to it, though, watching his visitors.

 

Blue Eyes had crossed to the TV and stared at it with an almost rapturous expression. Eyebrows studied the screen, his expression one of detached, even academic, interest. "Fascinating," he said.

 

Blue Eyes turned to him. "It's one of the classics of Early American Film, and all you can say is, fascinating?"

 

"If this were a social call, I would be pleased to offer more in-depth commentary, Captain," Eyebrows replied. "But it is not, and therefore wasting time is illogical."

 

"Um - time travelers," Blue Eyes said. "We have all the time in the world."

 

"Recorded by Louis Armstrong for the film _On Her Majesty's Secret Service_ ," Tony said, deliberately pulling their attention to him, and hoping that his voice held steady. Time travel? How was that even possible? He swallowed and added, "But one of you needs to explain exactly what's going on before I decide some of the drugs they've got me on are having even stranger side effects than usual."

 

"Right, sorry," Blue Eyes - whom the other man had called Captain, and Tony filed that away as important, even if he didn't know how - turned away from the television with obvious reluctance and met Tony's gaze squarely. "My name is James T. Kirk, and in the year 2258, I'm captain of the starship _Enterprise_. This is my first officer, Commander Spock."

 

Tony ran the words through his mind again, and once more, and concluded, "Bullshit."

 

Blue Eyes - Kirk, if that were really his name - laughed. "That's exactly what I said when a man claimed to be an older version of Spock from an alternate future."

 

Okay, Tony decided, they really had given him the good drugs. He'd have to call Dr. Pitt as soon as this hallucinatory episode wore off.

 

"But it was true then and it's true now," Kirk continued. "And we can prove it. Spock?"

 

Silently, Eyebrows - Spock - removed the knitted cap he wore, and Tony stared at the man's pointed ears. For the briefest of moments, his mother's voice came back to him. _It's not polite to stare._

 

Tony shook his head, and faced Kirk as though he were facing Gibbs. "That doesn't prove you're from the future. At best, it proves you have a fantastic makeup artist or maybe even a plastic surgeon. At worst, it proves he's not entirely human."

 

Spock raised one of those slanted eyebrows. "Why do you consider that the worst proof?"

 

"Because it means I picked the wrong career and should've been an astronaut," Tony replied.

 

"I told you he's the right one," Kirk said, a smug grin tugging at his mouth.

 

"The right one for what?" Tony asked. "Not that I believe anything you're saying, or that you're even real, but this hallucination or whatever is the most fun I've had in a week."

 

"Since you tore open an unaddressed envelope and managed to catch the plague," Kirk said.

 

"Nice use of detail," Tony said, "but I remember that, so of course I'd have it in my hallucination."

 

"What would convince you we speak the truth?" Spock asked.

 

"The usual," Tony replied. "Tell me who wins this year's World Series, or Super Bowl, or something."

 

"Unfortunately, that requires more time than we have," Spock replied.

 

"Um - you're the ones who claim to be time travelers," Tony reminded them. "All the time in the world, and all that?"

 

"What he means," Kirk said, "is that those events are weeks or months away, and while we can travel through time, we can't stay here that long. You're on medical leave for the next two weeks, which makes this the only time you can help us without being missed."

 

Tony reviewed that in his head. "Okay, that's not something I would have thought of, so … for now, let's roll with it, and say you are who you claim to be. What do you want with me?"

 

"We need your expertise," Kirk replied. "We - the _Enterprise_ and the Federation we represent - are involved in ongoing negotiations with -"

 

Tony cut him off. "Sum up?"

 

Kirk regarded him for a long moment before smiling grimly. "A member of the opposing diplomatic party has been killed, and we need an investigator."

 

"Wow, yeah," Tony muttered. "Definitely the good drugs. But … why me?"

 

"Each side proposed a list of investigators from their pasts," Spock answered. "The nominees were put to a vote, and you were selected."

 

"Terrific. So when do we leave, and what do I get for doing this?" In for a penny, in for a pound, Tony decided.

 

"We leave as soon as you secure your home," Spock said.

 

"And as for what you get - how about lungs that aren't decimated by _Y. pestis_?" Kirk asked.

 

"That's the best offer I've heard all day," Tony said. "Add an unblown knee and you're on."

 

"Done," Kirk said. "Lock up the place, and let's go."

 


End file.
